endcall.org / lab

THE VENT

↓ technical drawings & architectural specs ↓
DOCUMENT REV 1.0 — MARCH 2026 — CONFIDENTIAL DRAFT
Premium / Insertable

Cork

$39.99
the flagship ✦
~55mm ~28mm (body) cross section silicone shell carbon filter disc air channels → duckbill valve detail gas flows OUT ↓ nothing gets IN ✓ pressure: 0.5-2.0 kPa ← side view * retrieval cord — very important lol
Silicone Body
Platinum-cured medical grade
ISO 10993 biocompatible
Shore A 30 (soft flex)
Carbon Filter
Coconut shell activated carbon
12mm micro-disc
3,000 m²/g surface area
Duckbill Valve
One-way silicone valve
Opens at 0.5 kPa
Blocks solids + liquids
Retrieval Cord
Braided medical nylon
8cm length, knotted end
Because... you know
↑ "a stent for your asshole" — the original pitch
Everyday / External

Patch

$14.99 / 30pk
the gateway drug
top view (adhesive side up) adhesive ring (hypoallergenic) peel tab → ~55mm cross-section (side view) breathable top carbon layer adhesive ↕ skin ↑ stinky gas enters from below ↑ clean air exits top 1.2mm → * basically a nicotine patch but for your butt. and the opposite direction.
Adhesive Ring
Medical-grade hydrocolloid
Latex-free, hypoallergenic
12-16hr hold, sweat-proof
Carbon Layer
Non-woven activated carbon textile
0.8mm thickness
Biodegradable substrate
Breathable Top
Microporous membrane
Allows filtered gas exit
Blocks moisture
Form Factor
55mm flexible oval
Contours to anatomy
Invisible under clothing
sold in packs like breath strips. same energy. different end. →
Passive / Wearable

Sleeve

$54.99
for the insertion-averse
front view bamboo modal blend rear view (the business end) snap-in carbon filter panel ← snap points (x4) removable liner detail: ← snaps out for washing ← ~30 washes per liner ← replacement 5-pack: $19.99 ← "the Keurig of farts" * available in: boxer brief, bikini, and yes... thong
Fabric
Bamboo modal blend
Breathable, moisture-wicking
Softer than your excuses
Carbon Panel
Snap-in/snap-out design
Covers full rear zone
Machine washable
Snap System
4-point secure attachment
Flat profile, no bulge
Silent swap
Size Range
XS through 3XL
Boxer brief / Bikini / Thong
Inclusive sizing
↑ for people who want fart protection but draw the line at insertion